party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
