I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
