She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
