There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
