We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
