The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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