Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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