therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i came on her dog
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
