You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
