yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
