Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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