The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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