i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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