Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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