i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
