can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
