I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
