i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
