I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What drink are we having for lunch?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
