Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
