Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
