i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
