i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
