Welp...herpes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
