I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Randomize
