You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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