Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
