It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
