so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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