you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
