I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
