thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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