FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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