Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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