So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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