Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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