normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
