dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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