I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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