Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
