no, he came in my armpit
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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