You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
