but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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