The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
