i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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