I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
