so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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