yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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