Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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