we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
