On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
