Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
