Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
