It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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