Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
